everyone has their little friend group thing on here where they send ask’s to each other and tinychat with each other and text each other and do like everything together and have inside jokes and then there is me waiting to get into a group
have you ever just listened to a recording of you talking and then felt terrible for anyone who’s ever had to talk to you ever
When Canada was chosen to host the 2010 Olympics people had questions. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto , can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto ,Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: What did your last slave die from ?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Canada is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, we don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle
This boy is my new hero.
Can I just say that I have the worst skin ever. If you find stuff about skin to be kind of gross, don’t read.
Oh let me count the ways. 1. So pale that I look like a freakin vampire. 2. Scalp is usually itchy 3. Psoriasis on my arms 4. Some sort of new undiagnosed skin condition is beginning, on my face and arms (on top of the psoriasis) 5. My legs are always really dry and gross 6. Acne. 7. Mysterious third undiagnosed condition on my stomach, possible allergy to belt. Will stop wearing belt for a while and see how that goes 8. Behind my ears is usually itchy. Idek.
I need a freakin dermatologist
The end of this movie is so intense. Spoilers if you haven’t seen it (but I’m assuming most of my like 12 followers wont care enough to watch a 4 hour movie about revolutionary Russia from the 60s) So he hasn’t seen his lost love in many many years and he sees her walking while he is on a train/trolley thing. First they wont let him off to go chase her and you’re like ,”Ok that’s sad but predictable” but then once he finally gets off as he’s running to her he has a heart attack and dies and she never turns or sees him as he’s chasing her. He dies. Maybe I’m just emotional by nature but to me that is about as sad as i gets.
I think if I had sat through four hours of that movie only to see it end that way I’d have just died of emotion
